Our Shadow Selves

We all have an opposite to our conscious personality; it is a part of who we are as a human being; it is called ‘Our Shadow Self’. You may remember in a previous article we wrote about everything having a balance. Dark-light, hot-cold, good-bad. Our shadow self is the ‘flip side of our personality that contains all the parts of ourselves that we don’t want to admit to having, but yet they are there. 

Where is it? That part of us lives in the unconscious, the part that our conscious self doesn’t recognise. It contains all the features of oneself that we don’t admit to having. There is a lot of psychology around what it is designed to do. To help put a simple explanation together: 

it is the storage area within the unconscious that reminds you of your limitations, capabilities and to some extent your beliefs. It reminds you that you have this dark side, this side that may contain anger, where your normal personality trait is placid and calm.’ 

It is not to be feared, but it is to be understood. When we are born, we didn’t have this dark side to our personality; why would we? It only develops as we grow, so therefore it is filled with our life experiences and is where our altered ego resides.

How do we detect this shadow self? By the act of becoming self-aware of noticing when you suddenly have tendencies of anger, selflessness, high ego state, violence, the need for uncontrollable power. All these are the shadow side making their presence known. What can we do to control these urges? By allowing self-acceptance, by the act of self-compassion, and just understanding that we will have moments when our shadow self rises but, we don’t have to accept the negative thoughts that comes with it. 

Is it our true self? Not really; it is just our life experiences we haven’t dealt with and filed away in our unconscious minds. Accept it is there, but be self-aware and do not accept the behaviour that comes with this shadow of our typical daily values and identity of who we are.

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